I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted. Actually it’s been over a month if I remember correctly. I think the last time I posted something was in February. That’s crazy.
Life has been pretty hectic lately. College is stressful and there’s been some personal matters that have been going on as well, which leaves very little room to blog. But the one shining light is the fact that my poetry book, Mourning Doves, is officially published as of today.
I don’t usually do celebratory posts, but I thought this was fitting. Even though I’ve published three other books before this one, there’s something special about this. I think it’s because I wrote it for a reason. Or maybe it’s because it reflects the writing style I’m proud of. Either way, my art is on the page for everyone to see and I’m proud of myself for that. It’s okay to celebrate yourself sometimes.
I know my purpose for writing this book. I’ve mentioned this in previous posts, but I was in a toxic relationship in high school that completely shifted how I am. Not fully, because I’m stronger because of it, but for a long time I didn’t know who I was and I was lost. I was letting someone treat me like shit because I thought that was a normal relationship and that love would fix it, would fix him. But love doesn’t work like that. Love can heal. Love can bring life. Love can be beautiful. But love can’t fix someone that doesn’t want to be fixed and it’s not your job to worry about that. It was something I had to come to terms with after the relationship ended and I was left to pick up the pieces. I wrote this book with the intention to save someone else from what I went through. I don’t know if it’ll resonate with everyone and I don’t expect it too. But if there’s one person that can learn something from what I wrote then I did my job. That’s all I can ask for as an author. The rest isn’t important.
But on a less serious note, there’s a fun fact behind the title. I’ll drop that Easter egg because I find it interesting to know the reason behind why an author chose a specific name.
It actually came from the song “Mourning Doves” by Jhene Aiko. It was off her album Chilombo and I remember listening to it when I was heading to my internship at the time. I knew right then and there that it would be the title of my book.
I had been flipping between names for a long time before this, but this title was the one that stuck. Mourning doves are commonly associated with death and sadness, hence the name, but in reality they signal new beginnings. So on the surface, everything seems horrible, it seems depressing and it seems full of anger and hate, which isn’t necessarily a lie. But underneath all of those emotions, there comes a time where you reach a point of acceptance, of healing, and you can acknowledge the pain that someone put you through without letting it hold you back. Life is full of pain and heartache; it’s inescapable. But that doesn’t mean that the pain has to last forever and that you can’t find some type of joy in the darkness.
He was my darkness but I found my joy again. And Mourning Doves is a tribute to that journey of losing myself, finding myself, and learning to be okay with letting him go along with the pain he left behind. It was a process. It’s still a fucking process, but it’s been almost two years and I’ve made it. I’ll make it no matter what.
Mourning Doves is available on Amazon (link will be below) and when I get the chance I’ll be selling them on my candle website as well. You can also listen to the playlist that goes along with the book on Spotify or Apple Music. Those links will be below too.
Buy Mourning Doves: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B091WCGFK4
Apple Music Playlist: https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/mourning-doves-playlist/pl.u-MpbguzZjlG